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| Florence Garey McBrayer - circa 1920 |
Garey McBrayer Pennington
Good morning.
My name is Brayer Teague, and I am one of Garey Pennington’s grandsons.
On behalf of my brother Addison, my mother Owen Teague, and our entire
family, I’d like to thank the church for being such gracious hosts today as we
celebrate my grandmother’s life.
Before I share a few reflections about my grandmother, I think it’s important to say this upfront: Garey Pennington didn’t want to be eulogized.
Before I share a few reflections about my grandmother, I think it’s important to say this upfront: Garey Pennington didn’t want to be eulogized.
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| South Frankfort Presbyterian Church - March 30, 2012 |
There were, indeed, several
things that my grandmother did want upon her passing. They included
- among other things - having her Earthly remains brought back to rest in The
Bluegrass State. Which is of course entirely fitting; Frankfort - and
Lawrenceburg - were the epicenter of her life’s journey. Florida, and
later Missouri, were temporary bench-marks. But this place was … always …
her ‘Old Kentucky Home.’
And much along the same lines, it was always clear to us that she wished for us to gather here, in the South Frankfort Presbyterian Church. Just as Frankfort and Lawrenceburg were the center of her secular life, this church and its community of faithful was - for so many years - the center of her sacred life.
And much along the same lines, it was always clear to us that she wished for us to gather here, in the South Frankfort Presbyterian Church. Just as Frankfort and Lawrenceburg were the center of her secular life, this church and its community of faithful was - for so many years - the center of her sacred life.
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| Gigi introduces me to watermelon - 1969 |
But when my
mother and Gigi … (she became ‘Gigi’ after my birth, as it stood for
“Grandmother Garey”) … when my mother and Gigi spoke some time ago about how
she would like us to handle the arrangements for her funeral, she said she
didn’t want a eulogy. “Just scripture and music” she said. “Nothing
personal.” Which strikes me - and will likely strike
you - as incredulously ironic, since we all knew Garey Pennington as one of the
most ‘personable’ people on the planet.
So, here’s what we’re going to do: we are going to cheat a little bit. Now … I’m a teacher. So I bristle a bit admitting that we’re going to cheat. But in reality, that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to rather covertly call this something other than a eulogy. Let the record show in the bulletin that I’m sharing “Reflections” right now.
In truth it’s probably more aptly named: “a grandson’s personal send-off to a grandmother he loved very much.” Now, according to my own mother, who is of course an authority on this topic, Gigi often said her grandchildren could “do no wrong”. So Gigi, since I’m confident you’re in heaven listening … if any of this feels … in any way at all .. too personal … I humbly plead the “grandson can do no wrong” exemption.
It’s not uncommon for a eulogy … uhhh … I mean … a “grandson personal send off” … to include a little bit of historical back story. So my remarks this morning will begin similarly, in hopes of providing some foundational context as we celebrate my grandmother’s life.
Florence Garey McBrayer was born on July 22nd of 1916 … making her journey on Earth one that spanned 95-plus years. Mandatory registrations of birth - in the form of a certificate - were uncommon in the United States before the Second World War. Some states began using birth certificates earlier than the war, but historians say that it’s unusual to find such certificates in the southern United States prior to 1935. Pre-1935 it was much more common for births to be registered in a large book. In the case of our family, that book was the McBrayer Family Bible. Here’s an interesting fact that might even catch close family members by surprise today: the McBrayer Family Bible shows the entry for her birth as "FLORINA" Garey McBrayer” … not Florence. I speculate this was likely a writing mistake … long before white-out … because it was known to family members that Garey was named for her aunt, Florence Fiddler.
So, here’s what we’re going to do: we are going to cheat a little bit. Now … I’m a teacher. So I bristle a bit admitting that we’re going to cheat. But in reality, that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to rather covertly call this something other than a eulogy. Let the record show in the bulletin that I’m sharing “Reflections” right now.
In truth it’s probably more aptly named: “a grandson’s personal send-off to a grandmother he loved very much.” Now, according to my own mother, who is of course an authority on this topic, Gigi often said her grandchildren could “do no wrong”. So Gigi, since I’m confident you’re in heaven listening … if any of this feels … in any way at all .. too personal … I humbly plead the “grandson can do no wrong” exemption.
It’s not uncommon for a eulogy … uhhh … I mean … a “grandson personal send off” … to include a little bit of historical back story. So my remarks this morning will begin similarly, in hopes of providing some foundational context as we celebrate my grandmother’s life.
Florence Garey McBrayer was born on July 22nd of 1916 … making her journey on Earth one that spanned 95-plus years. Mandatory registrations of birth - in the form of a certificate - were uncommon in the United States before the Second World War. Some states began using birth certificates earlier than the war, but historians say that it’s unusual to find such certificates in the southern United States prior to 1935. Pre-1935 it was much more common for births to be registered in a large book. In the case of our family, that book was the McBrayer Family Bible. Here’s an interesting fact that might even catch close family members by surprise today: the McBrayer Family Bible shows the entry for her birth as "FLORINA" Garey McBrayer” … not Florence. I speculate this was likely a writing mistake … long before white-out … because it was known to family members that Garey was named for her aunt, Florence Fiddler.
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| Louise, Stewart, Agnes, Garey & Blakemore McBrayer |
She grew up in Lawrenceburg,
the youngest of five children. Dotted on by her two older brothers (Blake
& Stewart), and two older twin sisters (Agnes & Louise), she was known
to her siblings by the nickname “Honey.” Garey’s mother, Ramsey McBrayer,
would report with some frequency that her youngest daughter was ‘spoiled to
death,’ likely a result of much love and attention showered on her by her older
brothers and sisters … as well as their father William McBrayer. In fact,
while Garey’s four older siblings were seemingly required to call him “Father”
… Garey was the only one allowed to call him “Daddy” … a practice that
continued even into her adult years.
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| Engagement to G.O. Wilmoth |
In the summer of 1937 - as a
young woman in her early 20s - Garey attended the Lawrenceburg Fair.
There she was noticed by a gentleman by the name of George Owen Wilmoth.
And, as the story goes, he later found someone who knew Garey, and let it
be known that he would like to be introduced to her. That introduction
happened in July. They were married in November. Garey was soon
expecting a baby. Tragically, only half-way through her pregnancy, George
Owen Wilmoth - my grandfather - died after suffering an unrecoverable asthma
attack. It’s really quite remarkable to think about this: In the
span of one short year, Garey became a BRIDE, a WIDOW, and a MOTHER.
All significant, life-altering events for any woman. Most certainly
not expected to occur in such close proximity, or in that chronological order.
My mother, named Eleanor
Owen Wilmoth for her father, was born into a loving family still reeling from
the death of George. As Garey took employment to support her daughter,
the child-rearing responsibilities were shared by a loving committee of Garey,
Garey’s twin sisters, and Garey’s mother. My mom was fond of saying she grew up
in Lawrenceburg with three mothers, and her grandmother.
Eleven years later, at the
age of thirty-three, Garey married the man that would become her partner until
his death in 1988. Charles B. Pennington. This new, expanded
family, now included three more children who she would love and care for in a
new Frankfort home.
Back in the days when blended families were not
nearly as commonplace, Garey was absolutely determined to be successful in the
role of stepmother. And all reports are that she was, indeed, successful
beyond measure. Chick, Alice, and Tim, could easily corroborate this fact.
In our culture the title “stepmother” might sometimes suggest a certain
disconnect within a family. That simply was not the case with Garey
Pennington. She was ‘mother’ to them, and she earned that title by giving
selflessly, and loving unconditionally.
As a young child myself, visiting my grandmother during summer vacations, I would hear occasional stories from my Aunt Alice, Uncle Chick, or Uncle Tim, about those years growing up in a house adjacent to the ‘Pennington Lumber Company.” A common theme - to nearly every story I heard - was Garey’s role as a ‘buffer’ between the everyday antics of her children, and her husband: known to be a very driven businessman who - on occasion - was known to be short on patience for said antics.
As a young child myself, visiting my grandmother during summer vacations, I would hear occasional stories from my Aunt Alice, Uncle Chick, or Uncle Tim, about those years growing up in a house adjacent to the ‘Pennington Lumber Company.” A common theme - to nearly every story I heard - was Garey’s role as a ‘buffer’ between the everyday antics of her children, and her husband: known to be a very driven businessman who - on occasion - was known to be short on patience for said antics.
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| Mr. & Mrs. Charles B. Pennington |
My Uncle Tim reminded me
earlier this week that my grandmother taught all of her children how to drive.
And, all these years later, I remember my Uncle Chick sharing with me his
own stories about Gigi taking on the role of driving instructor. For
Chick, this happened soon after Garey married his father, and I think the act
of helping him obtain his license was one of those early events that
foreshadowed her care and compassion for the entire family.
Gigi was recognized by so many
by her smile, and by her laugh. Her grin was iconic, and her laughter
infectious. When she really got going, her family and friends would smile in
amazement, and wonder if she would ever be able to STOP laughing.
As a child, her family would say “Garey’s got the giggles.” Much
later, my brother and I would say something similar, “Gigi’s got the giggles.”
For those of us that had the joy of witnessing one of these
uncontrollable fits of laughter … where she could hardly catch her breath as
she wiped away tears streaming down her face … well, calling it ‘the giggles’
just doesn’t seem to do it justice, does it?!
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| Northwestern University - 1990 |
Something that was clear to
me, from a very early age, was that my grandmother valued education. I
could tell because of the interest she took in learning of my grades in school
- and the affirmation she provided me all the way through my college
undergraduate and graduate degrees. My mom tells me that this fits with
who Gigi was throughout life. In fact, my mom remembers Gigi being even more
proud of her college diploma than she was.
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| On 'The Casa' - 1963 |
My grandmother valued the role of educators in the lives of her children.
When my mother was in grade-school, Gigi began a practice that would
later become a well-known tradition in Frankfort: she entertained her
children’s teachers at the end of the school year. It was a simple
gesture, really. A way to say thanks to teachers who had worked hard to
support her children. It started out, early on, just adding one or two
additional place-settings to the dinner table. Over time, the recognition
became larger parties at the house. Eventually, by the time my mother
entered high school, Garey was inviting a large swath of the Frankfort High
School faculty to their house-boat - The Casa - where this annual
recognition of educational service drifted down the Kentucky River as a
floating smorgasbord of food. Gigi loved to entertain, and she loved to
cook. My mother told me that Gigi would “haul more boxes and bags of food
to that boat than any one person could count.” By the time my mother
graduated from Frankfort High School, it was said that teachers in the schools
were praying they’d have the opportunity to teach one of Garey Pennington’s
children … so they could be invited to the party!
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| Sharing her love of watermelon with Emery |
And speaking of food … many of us share this common condition: we
cannot see, smell or eat a piece of watermelon - without thinking of Garey
Pennington. Those of us who knew Garey … even peripherally - knew of her
absolute insatiable craving for watermelon. As long as it was in season,
Gigi had one in her refrigerator at the ready. As the years progressed,
people began ‘gifting’ her watermelon items … and out of this quite a
collection was amassed. Watermelon towels … watermelon napkin rings …
watermelon placemats … a watermelon clock on the wall … a watermelon decanter …
a watermelon kitchen stool … a watermelon coin purse … dolls with watermelon
themed clothing … watermelon dishes to serve, what else? … watermelon. I
could go on naming watermelon related collectables for the next hour, and
probably only scratch the surface. Some of these smaller collectables
were left behind when she moved to Missouri in 2005. But when I drove
back to Columbia to visit her in her new apartment, for the first time, it was
easy to spot her screen porch from the street. The watermelon flag …
floating gently in the breeze … was a give-away.
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| A toast to family - Gigi enjoys a 'Mimosa' |
And let’s linger just a little longer on the ‘food theme’ shall
we? Fond memories of Gigi also include, for my brother and me, trips to
the basement pantry to retrieve what we affectionately called ‘Green Beer’
(known to the rest of the world as … Canada Dry Ginger Ale! …), and Fresh
Squeezed Orange Juice … something that she made for us religiously, whether
visiting in Frankfort, or her winter home in Florida. Gigi's favorite
beverages? In truth, I'm not totally sure. I know she enjoyed 'enhancing' that
fresh-made OJ with a little champagne to make a "Mimosa." And I also
recall that any time I offered Gigi a drink with Kentucky Bourbon, her eyebrows
would raise and her eyes would twinkle with excitement. Followed, of course, by
that iconic grin that I described earlier.
Often a child at heart, Gigi loved stuffed bears, and had dozens made out of materials that had some sort of sentimental meaning to her. She also loved dolls, and was a great steward of my mother’s doll collection from the time of its inception … through several household moves. In recent years, Gigi got a big kick out of seeing my daughter Emery - her great-granddaughter - introduce this doll collection to her own baby dolls.
And speaking of ‘Baby Dolls’ … that phrase makes me think of my grandmother’s loving call-sign for her own daughter. I’ve already spoken this morning - with admiration - of my grandmother’s role as the matriarch of the family she created with Charles Pennington. However, everyone who knew Garey Pennington recognized and understood that Gigi had one true “baby.” And that’s my mother, born to Garey and George Owen Wilmoth. I remember Gigi saying to me, as a child, “Do you think it’s funny that I still call your mother baby?” In fact, that was a question she asked me with some regularity … even after she moved to Columbia, Missouri. My private visits with Gigi, while she lived in Columbia, always affirmed to me how much she loved my mother, and how much she appreciated all that my mother was doing to care for her. I’m not sure if Gigi was ever really able to convey that appreciation directly to my mother, but her gratitude - and her admiration of who ‘her baby’ had become as a parent and grandparent - were routinely exalted to me each time we sat down to talk. Metaphorically, my grandmother was ‘alone’ as she brought my mother into the world. I think there is a sort of poetic symmetry to the fact that my mother was able to be at Gigi’s bedside this week, and the two of them were able to be alone together, as she left the world.
As a music teacher, I would feel remiss if I didn’t briefly touch on my grandmother’s somewhat atypical love of music. I use the term ‘atypical’ because Gigi described herself to me - on many occasions - as ‘tone deaf’. She once said to me, “Brayer, I wouldn’t know it was the National Anthem unless everyone else around me stood up.”
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| Gigi enjoys a personal piano recital by Miles |
But this did not deter my grandmother from nurturing her
children’s interest in music. She purchased a baby-grand piano in
Kentucky … and later a Wurlitzer organ in Florida. Uncle Tim - who we all
know loves his trombone - credits Gigi with teaching him how to read music …
via homemade flashcards … when others suggested he’d never be able to do it.
She was a huge fan of both my brother and me - as school-aged
percussionists. And now … fast forward two generations … in her final
years she was a cheerleader of my own children as they began to study piano.
Just last year, Miles and Emery performed a short piano recital for their
great-grandmother, with the assistance of two laptop computers and a video
application called iChat. I remember holding the laptop in Downers Grove,
and seeing Gigi’s beaming smile transmitted back on the screen from Columbia.
And what about technology? Life is sure different now than it was in 1916. In my grandmother’s lifetime we went from operator-assisted phones … to smartphones. From living room picture-windows to black and white … then color … and now HD & 3-D TV’s. In many ways, I view my grandmother’s use of technology - throughout her life - as symbolic of her outgoing nature, inquisitive mind - and willingness to embrace new challenges. I remember sitting in the ‘office’ of the Frankfort home … in the late 1970s … with Gigi at my side, as she patiently helped me explore the Radio Shack TRS-80 computer. The fact that she owned this computer - one of the first machines to be considered a true “personal home computer” - with its whopping 16K of memory - was extremely progressive. Gigi even decided to enroll in a course at the local community college when personal computers first came on the scene because she wanted to learn how to use them. While some of her generation were resistant to new technologies, Gigi embraced them. And her family members were the benefactors of many computer-generated … personalized photo cards that she created using her first Apple computer. In the years that followed, Gigi owned iMacs and cell phones. Amazingly, she sent email, surfed the web, and followed blogs into her 90s. Educators are fond of saying that they hope to develop and instill in their students an aptitude and desire for “lifelong learning.” Garey Pennington was a “lifelong learner” to the max. That was simply part of her DNA, and we all admired her for it.
And what about technology? Life is sure different now than it was in 1916. In my grandmother’s lifetime we went from operator-assisted phones … to smartphones. From living room picture-windows to black and white … then color … and now HD & 3-D TV’s. In many ways, I view my grandmother’s use of technology - throughout her life - as symbolic of her outgoing nature, inquisitive mind - and willingness to embrace new challenges. I remember sitting in the ‘office’ of the Frankfort home … in the late 1970s … with Gigi at my side, as she patiently helped me explore the Radio Shack TRS-80 computer. The fact that she owned this computer - one of the first machines to be considered a true “personal home computer” - with its whopping 16K of memory - was extremely progressive. Gigi even decided to enroll in a course at the local community college when personal computers first came on the scene because she wanted to learn how to use them. While some of her generation were resistant to new technologies, Gigi embraced them. And her family members were the benefactors of many computer-generated … personalized photo cards that she created using her first Apple computer. In the years that followed, Gigi owned iMacs and cell phones. Amazingly, she sent email, surfed the web, and followed blogs into her 90s. Educators are fond of saying that they hope to develop and instill in their students an aptitude and desire for “lifelong learning.” Garey Pennington was a “lifelong learner” to the max. That was simply part of her DNA, and we all admired her for it.
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| Frankfort Garden Club - 1976 |
It has always been obvious to me that Gigi was well respected, and
also well loved, by many in this community. She forged meaningful
friendships with dozens upon dozens through her associations with the
‘Frankfort Garden Club’ and the ‘Women of the Church.’ She, and her
husband Charles, were devoted members of the church, and worked hard to support
the church’s mission. And while humble in nature, her good-will and
good-deeds were not constrained by the walls of this building. I was
always amazed, whenever I visited my grandmother, at the sheer number of people
she knew - all over town - from every imaginable walk of life. Former
colleagues and acquaintances from the lumber yard … the bank president we ran
into while grocery shopping … the guy who mowed the lawn and did odd jobs
around the house. Every personal interaction I witnessed
was marked by genuine respect traversing both directions. For me, Gigi
was a living, breathing example of the Golden Rule. Yellow was my
grandmother’s favorite color, which I always found fitting, because for me it
represented the warmth of her soul.
After Charles Pennington passed, Garey entered the final phase of her life with the same sense of family connectivity that had been cultivated and nurtured in her early years. It was her idea to purchase a new home in Frankfort, on Rockland Court, that could be shared with her two twin sisters, Agnes and Louise. And for the next several years in that home, and eventually in a smaller townhome, Gigi was a loving and dedicated sister to her older siblings. Her relationship with Agnes and Weezie was very special. It was complex, as are all sibling relationships, but they were all very loyal to one another … and remained loyal to the end.
And, since we’re back to Agnes and Weezie, I’d like to share a humorous story I heard this week that relates to my grandmother. You see, as the younger sister of two twins sisters, Garey was the fortunate recipient of many wardrobe hand-me-downs. Apparently, whenever she would wear one of her sister’s dresses into town, and receive a compliment on her attire, her standard - kind of smart reply - was, “Why thank you … I have another just like it at home!”
Florence Garey McBrayer ... 'Florina' Garey McBrayer … “Honey” … Garey Wilmoth … Garey Pennington … Mother … or the way I knew her … Gigi ...
… a woman known by many names … who shared many gifts with us during her 95 year journey on Earth.
After Charles Pennington passed, Garey entered the final phase of her life with the same sense of family connectivity that had been cultivated and nurtured in her early years. It was her idea to purchase a new home in Frankfort, on Rockland Court, that could be shared with her two twin sisters, Agnes and Louise. And for the next several years in that home, and eventually in a smaller townhome, Gigi was a loving and dedicated sister to her older siblings. Her relationship with Agnes and Weezie was very special. It was complex, as are all sibling relationships, but they were all very loyal to one another … and remained loyal to the end.
And, since we’re back to Agnes and Weezie, I’d like to share a humorous story I heard this week that relates to my grandmother. You see, as the younger sister of two twins sisters, Garey was the fortunate recipient of many wardrobe hand-me-downs. Apparently, whenever she would wear one of her sister’s dresses into town, and receive a compliment on her attire, her standard - kind of smart reply - was, “Why thank you … I have another just like it at home!”
Florence Garey McBrayer ... 'Florina' Garey McBrayer … “Honey” … Garey Wilmoth … Garey Pennington … Mother … or the way I knew her … Gigi ...
… a woman known by many names … who shared many gifts with us during her 95 year journey on Earth.
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| Family Matriarch - 90th Birthday Celebration |
The last years of her life - and especially the last several
months - took a significant toll on her both mentally and physically.
While we naturally mourn the loss of a beloved family matriarch, we are
also collectively relieved that she has been released from her suffering.
On Monday - when I received a phone call telling me that the end was quickly nearing - my mind raced to the song ...‘My Old Kentucky Home’ ... which was an important song to Gigi.
On Monday - when I received a phone call telling me that the end was quickly nearing - my mind raced to the song ...‘My Old Kentucky Home’ ... which was an important song to Gigi.
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| Gigi's 'Old Kentucky Home' - March 2012 |
Weep no more, my lady
Oh, weep no more, today
We will sing one song for the old Kentucky home
For the old Kentucky home far away.
Knowing that she is now at peace, we thank God for the gift of her
presence in our lives, and for taking her home to a comfortable resting place.
A place that I’m quite certain is echoing with my grandmother’s
uncontrollable giggles … a place brightly illuminated by her iconic smile …a
place adorned with bouquets of yellow roses … a place where “My Old Kentucky
Home” is playing softly in the background … and a place where - no doubt -
watermelon is on the menu.
We love you Gigi.
Amen.
Brayer Teague
South Frankfort Presbyterian Church
March 30, 2012
Amen.
Brayer Teague
South Frankfort Presbyterian Church
March 30, 2012
