Breaking NewsColumbia, Missouri: The mystery surrounding Elmo became even more baffling for Columbia Police today as authorities scrambled to explain the most recent developments.
According to police reports, Ronald and Mary Ebert found Elmo (who had been lying for several days within a chalk outline depicting his recent fall) suspended in their stairwell this morning.
Debate continues as to exactly what this means. Brayer Teague, who was earlier released from police custody after being questioned about Elmo's apparent suicide, suggested that this could be an "Elmo resurrection" of sorts, and that the white wings on his back represented angel's wings. However the Ebert family believes that Elmo is actually still dead, and this recent episode is a copy-cat stunt of an unidentified Muppet serial killer who, like Hannibal Lector in the suspense movie Silence of the Lambs, stings up his victims.
In other news, Novato, California homicide investigators announced today that Gertie the dog was officially a suspect in the mangling death of Minnie Mouse. Columbia Police are expected to hold a teleconference with Novato officials to explore possible links in these two crimes. 
